Pros and Cons of High School Teen Relationships


Kayla Knape

There is a lot of pressure put on high school teenagers, and being involved in a romantic relationship can be one of them. Many teens, as they grow and mature in high school, feel obligated to find themselves a significant other, whether it’s the influence of society, social media, friends, or family. Ms. Anjelica Viso, the Student Assistance Counselor (SAC) at Manville High school, shared some valuable information about the truth behind high school teen relationships. From a students’ perspective, David Nieves (grade 10), who is involved in a romantic relationship, openly spoke about his relationship and shared his thoughts on this topic. 

Should high school teen relationships be encouraged? Beginning with a student’s point of view, David Nieves voiced his opinion, “…it [helps] teens to be emotionally ready to have a long time partner [and] allows them to be exposed to the real world. It provides great benefits. My work ethic and happiness has improved tremendously because I have the best person by my side.” Ms. Anjelica Viso’s states, “…give it a chance and see how it goes. It’s time to learn and find ourselves, so if relationships help us figure it out, then go for it,” expressing similar ideas to Davids’. 

So, if high school teen relationships should be encouraged, that must mean they’re beneficial, right? High school teen relationships can be beneficial, but they come with a few risks as well. Continuing his statement on of encouraging high school teen relationships, David confirms that teen relationships are beneficial to students in many ways such as, “[improved] work ethic, motivation to do well in school, and overall happiness…” He does add, however, that a teen should be careful with their choice of who to be involved with romantically, because, “Being in a relationship with the wrong kind of person, with sinister intentions, can be very damaging…” Ms. Viso stated that high school relationships, “Give teens exposure to the dating world.” She also explained that it can help students figure out more about themselves, such as gender identity and sexuality, and what constitutes a healthy and unhealthy relationship. However, according to Ms, Viso, high school teen relationships can be just as harmful as they are beneficial. “Teens feel as though they need to spend all their time together, text all day long, and cut ties with everyone except their significant other.” Along with this, she explained that students should not let their relationships take away from “me” time or cause them to lose sight of themselves. 

Unfortunately, despite all of the good that can come from them, high school teen relationships can be distracting especially, according to David, “If all they focus on is their partner.” Ms. Viso encourages teens in high school who are in relationships to set boundaries, such as cutting back on how much time spent together. She puts emphasis on the importance of focusing on academics in high school in order to prepare for college and says that being involved in an extracurricular activity can help teens manage their time. In some aspects, high school relationships can pose dangerous threats to teens, especially with other individuals being involved in drugs, alcohol, and other bad behaviors. 

Society and platforms such as social media, TV, and even the songs we listen to can have an effect on the thoughts of teen relationships. Ms. Viso explained that, “…society instills in teens that you HAVE to be dating or you don’t fit the societal norm of a high school student. What we see on TV and social media is not always accurate.” When involved in a teenage relationship, it is important to pay attention to the actions of your significant other and decide whether or not you wish to be involved with someone of that behavior. 

Along with feeling pressured to be in a relationship, teens in high school often feel that they should explore the sexual side of their lives. Many teenagers feel that, especially when surrounded by older teens in a high school environment, they should engage in sexual activities just because their friends are doing it. In reality, young teens are missing the understanding and maturity levels compared to the older students. If teens are being pressured by their friends or even their significant other, they should immediately address the situation, even if that means breaking up with them, as soon as possible. 

A huge topic, or concern, with high school teen relationships is the debate of whether or not it’s a good idea for young or upcoming highschool students to be romantically involved with an upperclassman. Ms. Viso advises that it should be up to the teens to figure out if it’s a good idea or not. She says, “It depends on the person.” Sometimes, the maturity level can be the make or break factor, while other times, it’s the work load and stresses of both teens. She explained that from her own findings and research, “…once they graduate, the relationship crumbles or is very difficult to maintain.” Young teens should be focusing on their high school decisions and school work, and sometimes being surrounded by older teens nearing adulthood, isn’t healthy. 

Overall, while there are many pros that come with being involved in a teen relationship, there are a few cons to consider before trying one out. If you, or someone you know wants more information on high school teen relationships, feel free to stop in and see Ms. Anjelica Viso, the Student Assistance Counselor. It’s always important to make good decisions before trying out a high school teen relationship!