Point of View Piece on Being a Nurse During the Pandemic

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Esmeralda Baltzar-Escamilla & Vanessa Vazquez

The following pieces are fiction written by students highlighting what could be a nurse’s point of view during the pandemic. 

My body aches as I wake up from my rest. Five hours doesn’t seem to replenish my sore body. It’s 4:00 a.m. when my alarm sounds off I have an hour to get ready for my work. I have to be there at 5:30 a.m. but I don’t actually start working until 6:00 a.m. since preparations take at least half an hour. My scrubs are under three layers of protection and my face bruised up with all the masks I use. My dry hands because of the gloves that feel like my new skin. My messed up sleep and eating schedule have been taking a toll on my body. My working hours have never been consistent anymore, I am constantly being called in at random hours of the day. I have lost a significant amount of weight and all the vitamins in the world can’t help me. I always worry about my family and friends and they worry about me. I decided to self isolate myself with only my dog in my apartment. I knew the risks of me spreading the virus since I am in constant danger of contracting the disease. It’s better if I wasn’t making so much contact with anyone. I disinfect like crazy when I get home and only go out for work. Everything I have is delivered now. This has become my routine. It gets lonely and scary being by yourself with nobody to talk to. I am scared every day for the poor people with the disease we see people come and go. It breaks my heart during these times I can even hug my mom. But I know each day we are getting closer to helping everyone with the disease. I wake every day ready to help however I can and help those suffering. My mom calls me every day to tell me how proud she is of me even if I can’t see her words comfort me. I wish somebody this would be all over and I’m able to sit with my parents again and talk over a homemade dinner.

By Esmeralda Baltzar-Escamilla

 

My days get longer and the battle becomes harder to fight. I truly can not take this anymore as I was a front line hero who has exerted the possibilities to save someone’s life. I was trained to help others and make sure they made it alive to their families but for some reason, I feel as if I am fighting something that is powerful and wicked.  This virus is an invisible monster with tremendous hold over the human body, I can not see it but I am able to see the damage it provokes. The failure of lungs, hearts- people gasping for air;  leaves me grasping onto life as I do not want to find myself in that same position. I can’t drive through my normal path to home as I am a danger to others, my family has become strangers to me so now the people at work are my family. There is plenty of sweat and tears on our faces, doctors trying to find palpitations in patients but recently all they are able to find is nothing but their tears dripping onto their patients because they have done all they could. I have seen many people walk in but very few walk out and that is not what I had imagined my daily life to be. There is barely anyone with a warm touch but rather a cold one. My job has become a battlefield with barely any equipment to help my colleagues and I to  fight – unjustified? I think so. One can not fight without a shield, yet that is how I have been going against this fight. My mask remains on me for days as there are only so few, I try to make my PPE last as much as I can but by the end of the night, I guarantee to you that I have this monster crippling all around me. I am trying my best to fight for others but my energy is draining just as fast as the life of others is diminishing. What could you all do? Obey the rules as so I speak on the behalf of the soldiers in this awful battle – we are fighting a war so you don’t have to see it get any worse.

By: Vanessa Vazquez